Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Why must I be so sensitive?!

I've been all excited about my new etsy shop. The thought that I could make a little extra money doing something I love. Crafting is great. My psychiatrist says it's important for me to have not only a creative outlet, but something to help with my esteem. Staying at home, while a hard job, brings no income & sometimes I feel as if I don't really 'earn my keep'.

So I sold my first product the other day. Awesome. I really hope my 1st customer likes it! So, I started thinking- 'wow, this little business really could be good!' then I get a conversation asking about doing a couple custom ones. Great! Fabulous! So We're chatting back & forth. She's asking me questions about it and telling me what she'd like & when she'd need them, and I'm answering every little question to the best of my ability. Some of the questions were kind of strange, though. Like I can understand wanting measurements, but she was asking about EVERY measurement. She was also a 'new' user. Signed up that day. So we ended that she'll finalize the order in the morning after she gets to work, because she & her friend that she work with were ordering them together. I told her I'd start the preliminary work, so it'd be ready to go ahead with detail work when she purchased. As I was working on them last night, I told my husband about the feeling I was having, but tried to tell myself I was just being paranoid.

Today I'm on the computer first thing. Checking my email & etsy back & forth. Nothing. The suspicion mounts. I finally accept the truth. She just wanted to pick my brain and have me tell her how I make them so she can just copy it. More power to her if she wants to take the time to make them herself. I think what's wrong is to mislead someone. I don't like having my hopes raised, my time wasted & my exact pattern taken. Have a little creativity and make your own design. It's not so original that you couldn't.

*sigh* Anyway, it just hurt my feelings. :(

Monday, January 21, 2008

Why can't they all just get along?

Only a coincidence that it's MLK day. ThrillRider's been having probs with kids in the neighborhood again. It's so tough as a parent to watch your child be ostracized/ teased/ bullied. I know he creates some of the problems & conflicts. He has difficulty with social cues sometimes. He tends to be bossy & not take criticism well. I know this, but it doesn't make it any easier. We had snow this weekend. TR couldn't wait to go play in it. He went outside to find some of the neighborhood kids to play with, and did. He came home later all upset, disheveled & red from cold, yelling "They all ganged up on me!" He said they were having a snowball fight, when one of the kids shoved snow down his pants & jumped on top of him. Then (according to him) a couple of the kids started shoving his face in the snow and shoving snow down other pieces of his clothing. Well, it's not that I don't believe he was indeed attacked. I could see how wet, cold. and full of snow he was. I just don't know if he got too aggressive, and one of the kids bested him, or what. So he didn't get to go & play with the others any more. Today he went to see if another child down the street could play(one who wasn't there when the big snowball escapade happened). He came back about 15 minutes later, all red. wet & upset. He said one of the girls he's always had a probelm with was over there and started throwing ice at him, and that the 'friend' he went to see joined in and they were calling him names. *sigh* I wish I could know what happens, but I never will. All I know is it hurts to see him this way. I wonder if he'll ever have normal peer relationships.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

*knock on wood* Everything's fine!

I had been worried about TR's returning to school after winter break, because the hectic excitement usually causes a major manic trigger. It was this time last year that he had to be hospitalized, and I had to homeschool him for months while he stabilized on new medications.

So far, all is well. He has gotten ready in the mornings, no problem. He has come home in a good mood, and has even remembered some of his homework assignments!!! Getting ready for bed hasn't been too terrible, either.

I especially appreciate it since I and his little sis are so sick. I just don't have the energy to give him the extra attention right now.

Maybe his being grounded over the break made him realize he needs to shape up. I hope so.


Meanwhile, we had an IEP meeting at the school this week, and I feel that was pretty useless. Every time Rock & I tried to make a suggestion on how to handle Thrill's moods without escalating the situation, it seemed to be greeted with defensiveness from some of the teachers. "We're all trying to work with your son; he is a lot of work." I completely realize that, and have told them how much I appreciate it; we're simply trying to help make it easier for them. *sigh* It's hard to go from an elementary school that was so supportive and made every effort to keep us in the loop and help Tristan succeed to a school where he is just expected to suddenly 'grow up' and be responsible. If only it were that simple. What they need to realize is that good communication between us & the teachers is what will help make TR more accountable. If he knows I talk to the teachers & will find out if he didn't do his work that day, he is more likely to do it! Right now he knows the teachers only contact me sporadically (if that- and usually only after a big incident- that's when they tell me he hasn't been doing anything in class for weeks-'gee thanks!') and he uses it to his advantage. I cannot enforce what I do not know, and I'm sorry, but I have a little 2 year old, so I can't be down at the school every day to go around to all the teachers & check up on him. It only takes 3 minutes to send me an email to let me know how he did that day, or if there is a big project coming up that I should know about...

It's just frustrating. Thrill got In School Suspension a couple weeks before the break for talking back to a teacher (and kicking the wall), and the vice principle of his grade called me. She was telling me about the punishment (3 days of ISS) and said "We'd appreciate it if you'd back us up on this and take away priveleges at home..." She said it in such a way.. I was like "Excuse me? Can you repeat that??" So she did & said "ThrillRider has conveyed to teachers that he doesn't recieve any consequences at home, so we'd really appreciate it if you'd help out on this.." I just about choked! I thought to myself 'She must be getting him confused with another child...' TR thinks I'm about the meanest biatch on the planet & that his Dad & I ground him for looking at us wrong.. I stuttered something back to her conveying my disbelief and then she backtracked & said "oh well, you know, kids will tell us what they want us to think.... etc, etc." I was SO PISSED OFF! How dare you imply that I don't discipline my child! Oh that's right, you just think he has a behavior problem & if I ever punished him, he'd be all better. Grrr,, If that were the case, he'd be a model citizen. The problem is, you can punish him & it'll help for a while, but he forgets it soon & it has no lasting effects. So we have to punish him over and over for the same damn things.

Well, it felt good to vent about that. I should have right after it happened, but I was so mad, I was afraid I'd really write some mean stuff! For now, I'll just enjoy life while it's good. :)

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

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